Silly thoughts

Have you ever really thought about what all we ask our vehicles to do for us on a daily basis?
Besides the obvious, getting us to and fro, and protecting us from the elements, they are really pretty technologically advanced. Some of you have the ability to press a button asking your vehicle to get directions for you, some can play a movie for your children that keeps them entertained, some can identify a song on the radio and ask your vehicle to record the information for you so you can later download it on Itunes, it's like your car can be your own personal assistant!

The other day as I was on my way home, I was waiting to turn left onto our street. I turned my signal on, asking my vehicle to signal to other drivers that I was turning. Then, I pressed the garage door opener that is pre-installed, asking my vehicle to open my garage door for me. As I was turning into the drive way, I pressed the button for my side mirrors, asking my vehicle to fold the mirrors in for me, so I would fit in the garage. As I pulled to a stop, I again pressed the garage door button, asking the vehicle to close the garage door for me.
I'll admit I take it all for granted but you'd better believe I appreciate that I don't have to get out and manually open and close the garage every time I leave!

Picasso (hardly) but cute anyway!

The other day, EJ's Grandma decided to buy him some finger paints so he could create a masterpiece. Thankfully they are non-toxic and washable!

Here is one of my favorite pictures he made-

Doesn't it look like a peacock? With a purple head and yellow tail?

He is so talented!

For this child I have prayed...

I have had this blog written for some time now. I have just been too scared to post it. So now that I've got a burst of confidence I am going to post it, so here goes!

We had our first appointment last Monday, and as I sat in the waiting room I was so nervous, I found myself praying for peace and comfort.



We had an ultrasound scheduled before the appointment, and as soon as the screen turned on, there was our baby, cute, round and tiny. I held my breath until we saw and heard the heartbeat. What a relief that was! Following the ultrasound we met with our doctor who said everything looked good.



They scheduled an appointment with our perinatologist on Thursday, so once again I was filled with nerves. The last time I was at this office, we had an ultrasound and that's where we learned there our baby had no heartbeat. I had to force myself to breathe and try not to give into my fear. Once we saw the baby on the screen, I smiled and just waited. It seemed like forever, but there it was, the baby's little heartbeat. We met with the doctor and she recommended that we come in every week for an ultrasound, until I am 18 weeks along. So the chance to get a peek at our baby every week really does excite me. Tomorrow we'll be 10 weeks along, and although I feel peace right now, I think I will feel a lot more confident in two weeks.

My life flashed before my eyes

Well not really. But have you ever had one of those moments where you can see that something bad is going to happen, and you seem to be suspended in time? Even though it lasts only a few seconds, it seems like it's been minutes and you have had time to think about every possible scenario and what is the best decision?

That happened to us a couple of nights ago. We were driving home from my Sister-in-laws, chit chatting about the day that we had. We came to an intersection heading west, and our light was green so we kept driving. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement out of the drivers side window, from a car heading north. It was at that moment that my brain started processing everything in what seemed like slow motion.

"Is he going because he's about to make a right turn?" I thought. "It doesn't look like he's turning. If he keeps going, he's going to hit us right in the middle of the front and back seat. That's not a position that will make us spin, but can really damage the suburban. Or us. EJ's in the middle, that's the safest place for him. Is Joey wearing his seat belt?"
All the while, I am calling out loud, "JOEY! JOEY!"

He managed to see the guy barreling straight toward us just in time. I can't tell you if Joey slammed the breaks or hit the gas to get us out of there, all I know is at the last second the other truck finally saw us and hit his breaks, stopping just feet from us. All I could say was "Thank you Lord! Thank you Lord!" as I tried to catch my breath on the short rest of the ride home.

I am so thankful that the Lord had his hedge of protection around us, and kept us safe from harm. We serve such an awesome God!

Progress

As part of my pregnancy journal I felt that I should include what has happened in this pregnancy so far. First of all let me start at the beginning. I have never had trouble getting pregnant. I know what day I ovulate and usually which side I ovulate from. I can feel it, although it's a little uncomfortable. However we've had three miscarriages. Two before EJ, and one after him. So with Joey not working and not having insurance, we were very leery of me becoming pregnant. Because of that we were trying not to conceive. But lo and behold the Lord had other plans.

When I first found out, I was torn between wanting to be excited, and being scared about what could happen and about the timing of everything. It was a very heavy burden to be carrying not to mention the weight of my emotions battling each other in my head and my heart. It was hard for me to share the news with others because in the past we've found out that good news travels very quickly, but bad news doesn't. So deciding to start this journal is becoming therapeutic for me!

Anyway, last Tuesday I had some bleeding. It wasn't spotting which I know is normal, but bleeding. After having 3 miscarriages, in my mind it was a sure sign of something not being right.

My husband and I prayed and kept praying throughout the day and it finally stopped. Because Joey isn't working right now we don't have insurance, so I think I felt like I'll just wait and see what happens before I call the doctor. If it is bad I already know what is going to happen and how to handle it.

I ended up calling the doctor the next day to tell them what was going on. The doctor asked me to go get some blood drawn so they could check the hormone levels, so I went and they were normal. They then asked me to go again 48 hours later to make sure they had increased. We got the results yesterday and the hormone levels had increased but my progesterone levels were just a little low. So I will start the progesterone pills today and take them until I am 12 weeks. I have my first appointment and ultrasound scheduled August 4 with the Doctor we really wanted to see although I'm a little sad about leaving our midwife, who has been with us through it all.

But we have a great perinatologist who I see because I have Factor II, a blood clotting disorder, and she's been through it all with us as well. If there are any complications because of the Factor II, I would have to change to a physician anyway. So I feel better now, and am ready to enjoy the day before me that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!

I thank all of you who are praying for this child and this pregnancy, you all mean the world to me!

There's more than one way to get out of here!

A couple of days ago I heard my sweet little baby calling "Mama! Mama!" from his room, signaling he was awake from his nap. I took a few minutes to finish what I was doing before I went to go get him. As I slowly opened the door ( I like to try to peek in without him seeing me so I can see what he does in his crib) I caught my breath and ran to get my camera.

What I saw scared me a little, but also gave me a sense of pride that my little boy was so strong!

I careful assessed his ability and concluded he is not physically able to get all the way up or over... for now. So needless to say we may be switching to a big boy bed rather quickly!

Flip Flops

Since I live in flip flops during warm weather- What Your Flip Flops Say About You

You are an outdoorsy person. You feel most comfortable in nature. Beautiful scenery and good weather always brighten up your day. Being outside allows you to feel calm and connected to the world. Problems don't seem so big when you realize how small you are in the scheme of things. Your ideal warm weather place: Costa Rica

The Flip Flop Test

After participating in Becoming Me's blog Mission tour I re-read my mission and have decided that I need to be brave, start sharing more of my heart and be more true to my mission. I had a light bulb moment today thanks to dlyn and Kristen. Until this moment I was only chronicling what happened on a day-to-day basis. But if I truly want to be able to look back and see how far I've come, I have to include everything that happens, not just the happy moments.

I mentioned on my mission that I struggled with infertility and secondary infertility. The disappointment and heartache we've endured has made me hesitant to talk too openly about that area of my life, except with my very close friends and family. But I am praying that starting today, this blog will also become a pregnancy journal.

I am currently 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I find it hard to be excited and share my happiness because of what has happened in the past. I have been praying that everything will be okay, that this baby is forming perfectly the way that God designed them to grow, and that this baby would be born full term at the time God appointed for them.

It has not been easy to keep fear or doubt from creeping in, but I am a very goal oriented person, and my personal goal is to overcome fear and doubt, and do everything possible to ensure this pregnancy continues. That means I pray hard all day, every day, and read scriptures, trying to commit them to memory to build my faith. I realize there is only so much you can do, but I am willing to do whatever I can.

So please keep us in prayer and believe with us that we will be a family of four this March!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

"I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow."

Jeremiah 31:13

My Blog Mission

Becoming Me is hosting a Blog Mission Tour from July 13-18. Since I'm fairly new at blogging, the reason I decided to start blogging is still pretty fresh in my mind. I started blogging mainly to chronicle my son's growing up. And so my mission simple-

I blog in order to chronicle each beautiful day the the Lord has blessed me with. The favorite parts of my days are filled with loving the Lord, and being a Mommy to EJ. After a long battle with secondary infertility God gave EJ to us, hence- Love being EJ's Mommy. I want to remember the blessings and be able to look back and see how far I've come and what I've learned from life lessons. I want to meet new people who so passionately open up their hearts and share with the world and invite us in.

Thanks for listening, blessings to you all!

Praise the God of Earth and Sky...

This morning we woke up to a slightly overcast day. The temperature was only 80 degrees, so I took EJ to the park. As we were walking we started praising God and thanking him for what we were seeing, and the trip became so full of thanksgiving, it made me realize how often I go through life taking for granted the little things.
We started off thanking Him for the day that He had created, for our health and legs that work so we are able to walk, our neighborhood and home, our neighbors and then it grew from there.

EJ saw a bird and started flapping his arms, so we thanked Him for the beautiful songs birds sing that our ears get to enjoy, and as he pointed to flowers, I saw the backdrop of green grass, and the blue sky and we thanked God for making such a beautiful color palette. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everything were black and white?

It carried on until we had thanked God for everything from vehicles that get us to and from, the other children at the park that EJ played with, the cool breeze we felt on our faces, the friendly smiles we got to share, and ultimately, for God's imagination. What a wonderful morning it was!

"I will praise you oh Lord my God with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever."

-Psalms 86:12

My Favorite Things About Today

My husband and I have started playing a little game. At night when we are laying in bed I ask him what his favorite part of the day was. After he has figured out what his was, he'll ask me the same question, and I always find it so difficult to choose one favorite part. So today I am going to share all of my favorite parts.

1. Waking up next to my hubby and hearing EJ calling us from his room
2. Sitting next to EJ at lunch and hearing him say "MMMMMMMM!!" as loud as he could when he took his first bite of the lunch I made him.
3. Waiting for about an hour for an appointment today only to find out that God had been there before me and realizing AGAIN...that he is my provider!
4. Going to the Farmers Market, YUM!
5. Driving home from San Juan, a little over an hour drive and listening to a couple of CD's from church and refreshing my spirit.
6. The BIG hug EJ gave me as I got him out of the car.

These are the little things that make me so happy!

Movie Date

This morning we had another "first" with EJ. One of the theaters here in town shows rated G movies on Tuesday mornings for free for families with children, so Joey and I decided to take EJ for the first time. We figured there would be other children and parents there so it wouldn't be such a bother if he fussed or talked a little, because I haven't yet figured out how to teach him to whisper.

Anyway he did a beautiful job of sitting still and not wanting to run around. We did give him a sugar free sucker to keep him busy. We had such a great time partly because he enjoyed it so much and it wasn't a struggle to keep him there, and because it was something new. We will definitely be back this summer!

Here's a funny story

Last Friday, I left the house to run to Target to get diapers. From my house to Target it takes about 5 minutes. So the entire trip took maybe 20 minutes. I figured I could get this errand done right before EJ's last swim lesson.

So as I am returning home, I turn the corner, into our driveway while the garage door is opening, but I stopped. I put the car in park and sat there for a minute looking out my window puzzled. On the left side of the driveway (the side that my husband parks on) is this mountain of dirt. HUGE PILE. Big enough that if he pulled in, his Jeep would not have been able to go any further because the pile of dirt was too high.

I thought to myself, is this a practical joke? I looked around and didn't see anyone, so I quickly called my neighbor, because she has a fantastic view from her kitchen window of our short little street. I asked her if she had seen a truck in our driveway, but she hadn't. I told her about the dirt and she immediately came out to investigate, but before she reached my yard, I spotted a white truck pulling a flatbed trailer, full of dirt, with no tailgate heading down our street. I yelled at my neighbor-"I'll be right back," and I quickly turned the car on and took off after him. I was certain he had backed into our driveway at some point to turn around, and had lost a load of his dirt and it irritated me!

I followed him down the road until he got to the dirt field area of our neighborhood. He turned onto a dirt road and I quickly followed, all the while honking my horn. He finally stopped and as I was turning off the engine I noticed that the dirt on his trailer was a different color than the dirt on my driveway which made me second guess myself. But I still got out and asked the man if he had backed up into a drive way at any point during his trip to the field. He looked at me like I was a little crazy and replied
"No, I didn't. Is everything okay?"
Realizing at this point I didn't have circumstantial evidence I sweetly said,
"Well I just got home and found this huge pile of dirt on our driveway, and when I saw you driving by, I thought maybe you had backed up into our driveway and I was just going to let you know that you had lost a bunch of your dirt."
He politely said " Well thanks, but we're just getting rid of this dirt, but we are coming from Thistle, (another street in our neighborhood)."
At that moment I considered asking him and the young men in the truck with him if they would mind coming to our house and shoveling it onto their trailer and hauling it away for me, but I decided that would be asking a lot.

So I returned home, and called my husband to see if he knew what was going on. He didn't answer. Well by this time I had to get EJ to his swim lesson. So we left. As I am pulling into the driveway of the pool my husband called me back and I told him what was going on. He started laughing and said he had no idea what was going on. So after swim lessons, my husband called again to tell me he figured out where the dirt had come from. Apparently, he had talked to a friend of his about our grass last week. The friend had recommended we use some topsoil on an area that was dying, and I guess his friend decided to be nice and bring some to us, which was really sweet. But he didn't call either of us to let us know!

Here's the funniest part of the whole story-
So that evening my husband was outside cutting the grass and applying the topsoil, when a white truck turns onto the street and stops in front of our house. A man gets rolls down the window and asks my husband if he lived here, and if that dirt on the driveway was his.
My husband started laughing and said "Yes, it is, are you the guy my wife chased down today?"
The guy laughed and said "Yeah, it surprised me, but when I came back down the street I saw what kind of dirt it was, and I was going to tell you if you didn't want it I'll take it!"
So my husband told him about the mix up with his friend, and apologized for me chasing him down.
Needless to say I am not proud of what I did, and I am so hoping I don't run into him at the grocery store or somewhere in our neighborhood!

On the quest for justice

It's a little after 9:00 pm on Sunday. My husband and I are winding down our day, in our pj's already. EJ has been fast asleep for a little over an hour, the neighborhood is quiet, and it's dark outside. Suddenly, the phone rings. The first thought that goes through my head is Uh-Oh, what happened? I reach for the phone and barely glance at the caller id before answering.

"Hello?" I say
"Hi, can I please speak to Tara?"
"This is her." (Before I can ask who is speaking, the female caller begins a spiel)
"I'm calling from New Mexico Survey and I have a brief..."
(I cut her off) "Are you kidding me? Ma'am where are you located right now?"
"Where am I located?" she replies
"Yes, what city are you in right now?"
"Well, I, why ma'am?" she asked me
"Do you realize that in Albuquerque it's 9:00? AT NIGHT?"
"Yes I do ma'am."
"You realize how late it is and you are still calling people's houses interrupting their nights?"
"Yes."
"WHO TOLD YOU it was okay to call people this late at night? Do you realize children are asleep? Do you not care if you wake them up? Do you realize only bad thoughts come to mind when you hear the phone ring at this hour? What is the deal?"
To which she replied-"I understand thanks" and proceeds to hang up on me.

She didn't really care. My passionate speech did nothing to persuade her that what she was doing was a complete injustice and horrible inconvenience., The questions I asked should have at least caused her to pause and reflect and realize that I was right, it is wrong to call so late and that she should seriously consider finding a new job.
So then I began to wonder what happened to the do not call list? Did we fall off? Do we have to re-register? So I will be investigating that today.

PS- A little side note
I obviously didn't complete the survey last night because of time. But I do refuse to complete any survey when I am called because of a segment I watched on TV few years ago. It was an investigative report about how burglars, or predators can find out so much about you by asking seemingly harmless questions which happen to coincide with questions many legitimate surveys ask.
For example -
What is your average household income?
This answer is loaded because it can tell them what type of home you may live in, and the quality of things you may have in your home.
How many people in the home work?
This can tell them whether the home is vacant during the day or not
What is the highest level of education completed?
This gives them access to demographic info such as whether you have a professional career or not, and also can give them an idea of your income
What radio station do you listen to the most?
This question allows them to categorize your age. For example statistics show that older, upper class individuals listen to classical stations, while teens and early twenty somethings listen to hip-hop and rock stations.
So just an FYI. I realize not every burglar or predator is dedicated enough to figure all of this out and take the time to actually do this research, but you never know who is on the other end of the phone!

The merriment of commencement has commenced

The last day of EJ's swim lessons is upon us. His first little graduation, yay! He got a cute little report card and I am so proud of him.

I have to say the lessons turned out better than I thought it would. I absolutely love the water, however I had reservations about going to lessons every day for two weeks, right smack in the middle of the day, at noon, when it is sooo hot. Seeing how much EJ enjoyed being in the water made it was worth it though. We made great friends, and EJ can now blow bubbles in the water, sit on the edge of the pool and jump in, and kick his little legs.

He must have really enjoyed what he learned because the other night while taking a bath he held his HUGE rubber ducky face down in the water and leaned his head down next to the duck's and I could hear him making car noises to teach his duck how to blow bubbles. It was so cute. Anyway, thanks to Ms. Tessa we are a few steps closer to having a little fishy!

EJ and his teacher

Playing ring around the rosie

Just jumped in!

Not sure exactly what he's doing, but it's a cute pic!

A Boy and his dog

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The trivial and mundane things in life

So I hate to do the dishes. Of all the household chores, this is my least favorite thing to do. We used to use our dishwasher but at the time we both worked, with only the two of us, it took quite a while to fill up the dishwasher to justify doing a load, and by then we were out of the dishes we needed to make dinner and eat it.
So I started doing dishes by hand. And oh, how I drrrreeeeaaaaaddd it. I try and psyche myself out before I start every day, telling myself I should be happy that I am blessed with dishes to wash, and it means we have food to eat, and it means that I have a family who is eating the food. Well that works to make me feel an immense sense of love for my family, but doesn't encourage me to start the dishes. I tried buying really cute colorful dishcloths, telling myself it'll be more fun to do the dishes and use the bright happy colored cloths, rather than boring old plain cloths. Well that worked for a few days. I decided to take a look around and see if what others think about doing dishes, and here's a funny little article I found on how to enjoy doing dishes-

Let's see.

• Don't wait until the end of the night to do your dishes. We've been known to make a nice meal, eat dinner, and then watch a couple hours of the Rock of Love marathon on VH1 before finally getting around to doing the dishes. When we wait until the end of the night to do dishes, it's hard to enjoy the task.

Yeah I figured that one out a long time ago. In fact I will usually start a sink load right before I start cooking so I can do the dishes as I go and they won't build up because that makes it all the more unappealling. What's next?

• Listen to music. Putting on your favorite CD makes any cleaning job more fun. Doing dishes is the one time when we really have a chance to listen to our favorite music.

Okay, I do this one too. I have even gone above and beyond and I sometimes sing out loud while I do the dishes. Doesn't make it any more enjoyable. Next?

• Use green dish soap that smells great. Scent is a powerful mood elevator. Some of our favorites are Mrs. Meyers Geranium Dish Soap and Caldrea's Citrus Mint Ylang Ylang Dish Soap.

Hmmm, I have to say, my Dawn with bleach alternative isn't quite the powerful mood elevator.

• Make a station for dishwashing supplies so you're ready to go when you need to. We have a wall-mounted basket that holds dish soap, sponge, hand lotion, and dish towel. If you don't mind reusable rubber gloves, they're a good addition to your supply rack and will help to protect your hands.

Okay, check. Have one of these.

• Think of it as time alone...or time together. If you need some time by yourself, dishwashing is the perfect opportunity for introspection. If you prefer to make it a joint task, ask your roommate or partner to dry while you wash, and use the time for conversation.

This is assuming your roommate or partner will actually say "Sure buddy, let's go tackle them dishes!" (Actually, dishes is one of the things my husband will do for me on occasion)

• Love your dishes and invest in a good dish rack. We used to have a cheap dish rack that we hated. A friend gave us the Simplehuman Flip-Top Dish Rack as a gift. She told us it would change our life, and it did.

Oh, well, I do love my dishes! I had to work really, really hard at having a successful Taste of Home Entertainment party so I could receive this beautiful Mario Batalli set of dishes for next to nothing, but it was all worth it! However I don't use a dish rack...

• Give yourself a reward when you're finished. If you really hate doing dishes, you can help yourself out by creating a light at the end of the tunnel. Something small works well: a cup of coffee, some time with a good book, or an extra 15 minutes of sleep.

A Reward huh? I think chocolate qualifies as a reward. So let's review.

Apparently all I need to enjoy doing the dishes is Geranium or Citrus Mint Ylang Ylang dish soap, a super duper dish rack, and a BIG chocolate reward.

Yeah. I'll let y'all know how that works out.

That which doesn't kill you, can really stress you out

So in light of everything that has been happening with my husband's job, I have been a little stressed out. I struggle with anger more than any other emotion, and I am daily repenting and repenting for the feelings I have toward a few people in particular at my husband's old job. In the meantime, I have been trying to encourage my husband as much as I can, adapt to a new routine that includes having him home with us, keep EJ entertained so Joey can work on resume stuff and look for jobs, all the while trying to stay patient and still and wait on God. My first response is to run to the computer update my resume and start looking for a job as well. I even halfheartedly looked through the paper with a friend of mine Sunday "just to see what was out there". So today, I received my daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries, here is a couple of exerpts-

The Weight of Waiting
Van Walton

"Why doesn't the Almighty bring the wicked to judgment? Why must the godly wait for him in vain?"
Job 24:1 (NLT)

Devotion:

I don't like having to wait. It can bring out the worst in me...
God knows me. He is well aware of my weaknesses. So He calls me to His workout room were my weights are actually waits. "Here lift these. When you have completed this exercise, you will emerge a stronger woman."

So I begin to "strength train" with the waits in my life.

Daily I encounter light waits that serve as a warm up for the heavier waits. How I behave as I wait in line at the post office or grocery store, for example, becomes a testimony to my growing strength and maturity. Sure I sometimes drop the load rather than handle the wait well ... I occasionally give in to impatient eye rolling, snide under-my-breath comments, or quick steps to assure my place in line.

Thankfully, God believes in me as a savvy coach believes in his well-chosen athletes. He hasn't given up on me. He continues to assign me to His wait room where I'm learning daily "wait training" strengthens me for the larger times of waiting. Like the time I had to wait for my first job. As I waited for a call back, my self-esteem plummeted. Yet in God's good timing He opened the doors to the perfect position. Or, the time I waited as my dad's health deteriorated. Sadness threatened to overwhelm me. But I emerged from God's wait room wrapped in my Father's comfort, having learned to trust Him.

I've discovered that waiting isn't a waste of time, but an opportunity to grow my character. When the wait feels impossible I try to focus on building patience and my relationship with Jesus, rather than fretting. I spend a lot of time in God's wait room. Next time you find yourself there, remember that God provides the ability to endure when we willingly yield to His strength training process.

Psalm 5:3, "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; ...I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." (NIV)

Isaiah 49:23 b, "Those who wait for me shall not be put to shame." (ESV)

Romans 15:4, "...the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled." (NLT)

So, I will continue to lay my requests before Him and wait in expectation, for God's promises to be fulfilled!

Summer

Where did May go? I cannot believe it's June already. I seem to have missed May somewhere in between all of the graduations, first holy communions, and birthday parties. It is now HOT, HOT, HOT all of the time. We have spent almost every day either inside with the air conditioner blasting, or outside so EJ can swim in the ice cold water that comes from the hose in his little pool. He loves the water and it doesn't even phase him when he's shivering and his lips are blue.

We love having his friends over to swim with him, and I secretly sit there wishing I was a little smaller so I would fit in the pool as well! In order to fulfill my secret longing to be in the pool,
I signed EJ up for swim lessons today, since I have to be in the water with him, I figure I'll get my water fix, and I'm hoping I will have a little fishy by the end of the month!

Who I am

Have you ever thought about what you use to define who you are? I was listening to a song today and a verse caught my attention- The verse says-"I believe what I believe, is what makes me what I am…" Then later today Reba came on TV, and a verse in the theme song says – "Who I am is who I want to be…" I started thinking a lot about all of the influences that make us into who we are.
I learned a hard lesson a couple of years ago when I quit working. I had always thought of myself as being a young professional. A Community Relations Specialist and Recruiter, but I learned that it wasn’t who I was, that was just the job I did. Once I realized that, I was on a quest to figure out who I was.
I have learned a lot about my family and ancestors, and I marvel at what remarkable people they are. But do our ancestors make us who we are? My Great, Great, Grandparents on my Mom’s side made a pilgrimage from England all the way to Utah. They sailed to the US, took a train to Idaho, and had to walk from Idaho to Utah, with 5 children in horrible deadly,winter conditions, sometimes waking up with their hair frozen to the ground. They had one ox cart that they had to pull by hand. An estimated 500 people that they were traveling with died on that trip.
My Grandpa on my Mom’s side is a hero of WWII. He was a bomber pilot, and while he was stationed in Europe, he was shot down, and captured as a POW. In the end, he made it back to the states and spent an additional year and a half recovering from his injuries.
My Mom was a single mother with 2 children, who didn’t graduate high school, who worked as a waitress to support us. She worked on getting her GED, starting as a teller in a bank and is now a Vice President of a Bank.
So I say you can draw strength from the determination, and bravery, of your family, and these are characteristics that we can work to model in our own lives.
But ultimately, I am a child of God. And that’s all I need to know. I don't have to wonder or search anymore because he has given me a guidebook that tells me who I am in Christ. I am a wife to an incredible man, and a mother to a beautiful baby boy. My family is very important to me, I love to spend time with them. I love to spend time with my friends, I love to laugh, I love to read good books, and go for long walks, I love outdoor activities and watching Romantic Comedies. I have a heart for children, and love working with preventive programs for children. If I could make the world a better place for everyone I would. I love to travel, and would like to visit every state at least once, and would like to visit Spain, Italy, Ireland, and Greece. I truly enjoy history, and can get lost in WWII history. I love to eat, and bake, and I have an incredible knack for picking great people as friends! I have been through heartache after heartache, but I’m still ok. I have learned that God takes care of me. My strength comes from God, and my faith is in God.

He's a climber!

So my son is 17 months old now, and he suddenly started climbing last month. I knew the day would come eventually, but I can't say that I am ready for it just yet. The day started off with him climbing onto his bag of big blocks and then onto the fireplace where he joyfully squealed and flashed me his biggest, proudest smile. My heart stopped for a second as I decided whether to be upset or not. I didn't want to scare him, so I calmly got him off of the fireplace.

His next conquer was his little recliner. (I decided to grab the camera before I started to teach him what he could and could not climb.)

Shortly after that we were in the guest room folding laundry and I heard the same excited squeal and looked over and he had climbed on top of the chest at the end of the bed, and had managed to bring his cars along with him.

Later that day, he climbed onto a child sized bench stood up and gave his best "I'm the king of the world!" impression. Then he proceeded to lean forward and dove headfirst to the ground. But his feet didn't leave the bench. He caught himself and pushed himself back up, deciding it was probably better to sit down on the bench. Never mind that Mommy had that idea first.

He followed that stunt by figuring out how to climb onto a plastic platform/slide in our neighbors yard. He triumphantly stood up, waved at us and squealed with pleaure. Then a minute later he fell off, looked up stunned, accepted the help of his 4 year old friend, and got right back up.

Shortly after that he was pushing himself down the slide. At one point he didn't get his legs straightened out, so I told him he had to wait because he couldn't go down the slide on his knees, to which he responded by looking at me and promptly pushed himself down the slide on his knees. I think just to prove me wrong.

Ah, he is his mother's child.